


Let's Get Angsty With Kylo Ren (Tit Stleill In Development) future edit (Title will never come, I'm done with life)

by Kylo_Rens_9_pack



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Only tagged for violence because of a brief description of the massacre scene on Yavin IV, character exploration, nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 18:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6577804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylo_Rens_9_pack/pseuds/Kylo_Rens_9_pack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He remembers when his parents cast him aside. He actually felt happy that day, this odd sense of childish wonder clouding over any hatred he could have ever felt for them.</p><p>AKA: Ben Solo get's angsty on Yavin IV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Get Angsty With Kylo Ren (Tit Stleill In Development) future edit (Title will never come, I'm done with life)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright once again I am writing an idea formulated by my friend @anakinskywalkerdidnothingwrong on Tumblr!!!  
> Enjoy my dudes.

He remembers when his parents cast him aside. He actually felt happy that day, this odd sense of childish wonder clouding over any hatred he could have ever felt for them. Finally! He would be with someone who understood, maybe someone who would believe him about his concerns. He loved the thought of going to train with his Uncle Luke. Maybe he could tell Uncle Luke about the voices? Maybe Uncle Luke could help. He hoped and prayed Uncle Luke would help. Mother told him they would visit as often as possible, that no matter what they would always be there for Ben. He was their son, they were supposed to be there for him. 

 

They weren’t there. “They mustn’t visit you, Ben.” Uncle Luke said “Jedi can not form attachments, even to family members.” He said. They lied to him. Mother said they would visit. Mother said they would be there. Did they really cast him aside!? They weren’t there for him! They were his parents, his Mother and Father. They were supposed to guide him, to support him no matter what. Ben was convinced, they knew. They wanted him gone. 

 

Ben had told Uncle Luke about the voices. The look of horror on Luke’s face was enough to tell, Luke was scared of him too. “You shouldn’t worry about them, Ben. Just block them out.” Uncle Luke would say. Tossing him aside. Yes, just toss Ben aside. Ben is only crazy, Ben hears voices, Ben is scary. Just toss Ben aside.

 

No one knows what it’s like to have a monster card through your thoughts day in and day out. Not even a semblance of privacy, whatever Ben thinks the presence knows. Constant invading thoughts tearing his mind apart like shards of glass to skin. Ripping him apart, consuming him. “They don’t love you” the voice would say, “they’ll cast you aside just as your parents did.” Ben would plead for it to just stop. To stop invading him, to leave him alone. Sometimes the invasion hurt so much it would bring tears, a small localized pain. Daggers in his mind, ripping, tearing, shredding. 

 

He has no one to turn to. His parents left him, his Uncle believes he’s crazy, his friends would never believe him. No one knows that when they look at Ben they look at a broken boy. A shattered mind, slowly breaking him, tearing him apart. He’s lost, in this field of broken glass. Each step hurts, ripping deeper. The more he tries to resist the deeper he goes. 

 

The voice has become a comfort, “No one appreciates your power as I do” it says “everyone is scared of you, but all you need is a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.” Ben almost gives in, it’s the only voice he ever hears anymore. Constantly in the back of his mind, he wants to give in. It’s the only thing that has ever appreciated what he can do. 

 

It hurts. The screams they echo, Ben looks down blood. Blood everywhere, bodies, carnage. He sees a girl, she’s backed against the wall, begging for mercy. “Please! Ben don’t do this!” she wails, it’s as if he’s not controlling his own body. He brings the lightsaber above his head and in one quick strike her head rolls. 

Ben wakes up, screaming. Is he really destined to do that? Kill his friends, his peers. Massacre an entire temple of children!? “They hurt you, Ben. They will only cast you aside. Just like the rest of them.” If it’s what he must do, he’ll do it.

 

This time, he can feel the blood. It’s sticky, he can smell the iron, he can feel the weight of the lightsaber in his hand as brings it down on his victims. “Ben, what are you doing? Why are you…? Ben!” comes the voice of his former friend. She can’t speak anymore, not with a gash down her chest. They can never hurt him again, they can never cast him aside.

 

“You’ve done well, Ben.” Ben surveys the room around him, decorated with lifeless corpses. He’s done well this time, he didn’t fail. The voice didn’t cast him aside, it praised his work, his progress. Finally, he isn’t lost anymore. He knows what his purpose is, what he needs to do. Finally, someone who appreciates him.


End file.
